I'd always wondered what it'd be like to live where it snowed every winter. I'd always imagined how nice it would be to spend summertime in a place where the temperatures rarely got above 90F. And now I know.
Living in Wisconsin means...
...that boats are shrink-wrapped in autumn to keep hibernating critters out.
...that Christmas lights go on the house in early November and don't come off until late spring.
...that you plant your garden on memorial day weekend, and not a day before.
...that you don't have to force tulips into bloom, they just grow.
...that everyone has at least one hosta in their flower bed.
...that mosquitoes don't hover -- time is short, they go right in for the kill.
...that you never have to water your grass, even if it's that thirsty Kentucky Blue.
...that a bubbler is a water fountain, not a baptism gone bad.
...that you say, "pen" incorrectly. And "get". And you use too many syllables.
...that even the grammar teachers use incomplete sentences, "Your kids? Sure, bring them with!"
...that a couch and a coach are pronounced the exact same way by many.
...that it's not P.E.; it's Phy Ed (FIE-ed).
...that you have to listen intensely, because the words are spoken more rapidly.
...that your voice suddenly sounds like Huckleberry Hound by comparison.
...that a "ruff" is not only what your dog says, it's also on top of your house (roof).
...that you have to shovel a pathway for your dog to get to his/her "pooping grounds."
...that the aforementioned pooping grounds will generally stay frozen and preserved until the spring thaw.
...that all animals are inside animals, for at least part of the year.
...that all windows are drafty, even if they're double-paned.
...that ice forms on the inside of single-paned windows, so it could be worse.
...that ice on the ground is slippery -- especially when it looks like a clear puddle of water.
...that the greenness of summer seems so distant that you wonder if you've moved every winter.
...that you realize people in the South have no clue what northerners endure every winter.
...that people hibernate in the winter, too.
...that you should spend 30 minutes outside in the daylight, no matter how frigid the wind chill.
...that a clear day is much, much colder than a cloudy day.
...that birds and squirrels are just tougher up here.
...that birds (and squirrels) up here actually appreciate those bird seed pine cones rolled in peanut butter or shortening.
...that tortillas are not sold on the bread aisle.
...that if an older lady wants help in the grocery store, she'll ask; and you best not offer otherwise.
...that people outside of church are generally polite, but distant.
...that once you get to know people, they're the best friends you'll ever have. Well, except for a certain lady at a certain grocery store. ;-)